Have you ever woken up in a cold sweat, or with a feeling of hopelessness and dread, with no idea why? Have you ever felt depressed even though you couldn’t say why? I ask because for many years this used to happen to me.
I started reading up to help myself, and over the years I have read over a hundred books and watched dozens of videos on the subject. What I found was that there’s a simple reason for it, and although it’s a crippling problem, it also has a deceptively simple solution.
In this post, I will reveal why this happens, why this is a huge problem, and how to fix it.
With all the knowledge I acquired over the years, I learned about many bad habits engraved in me by society, culture, family, and myself.
My biggest finding is that no matter what your circumstances, how you see things is what matters. Let me illustrate by giving you an example of two people who have the same circumstances but think and act differently.
Meet George and Jose. They are both 24 years old, both live in a poor neighborhood. They both have low incomes and no good education.
George wakes up the in morning, complaining about his condition. He hates his job, where he lives, that he has no education, that nobody likes him, that he is ugly, etc.
He always arrives at work late, so he is not very productive at his job, and his boss does not like him very much. Because George is always complaining about everything, his co-workers don’t like him much either. Also because he is always late, he gets paid less, gets fewer chances for promotions, loses jobs often, can’t pay the rent in time, has bad credit, and so on. George barely goes out. When he does, he goes alone because he has no friends .When George makes a friend, they do not last because he is always doubting them, and complaining about everything. Because of his low self-esteem he does not approach women and has fewer relationships. Most of the time he is alone. He also drinks too much alcohol which makes him talk trash and push people away.
George thinks he is smarter than everybody else. He thinks people should call him often, women should worship him, employers should pay him more money, he should be rich, etc.
He knows in his heart he is worth more than what he is getting in life but he can’t see what he is doing wrong. You and I can see his mistakes, but he is not aware of them. He was programmed to be like this by his environment growing up, society, maybe the TV, friends, family, his own thinking, experiences, etc.
George is always upset at life, everything in his life is messed up because the world is against him. He is doomed because of his bad luck in life. Or is he?
Jose wakes up in the morning, excited because he has a job. He is excited that he has an opportunity to make money to study and become all he wants to become.
He is happy that he can pay the rent, eat food daily, and that he is healthy. Jose went to sleep early last night because he wanted to get to work in time, which he did. When Jose gets to work, he is so excited that everybody says, “Hi,” to him. People are attracted to light, and Jose is always shining really bright.
Jose does not complaint about anything. He is a giver and loves to work overtime to help himself, but also to help others as well. His boss is always happy with him because he is very productive at work. Because Jose is so productive he has been promoted twice in a year, which means he makes more money and it also makes Jose happier.
Jose is also taking online classes to become a Web Developer. After work, he studies for a couple hours on the computer. He is constantly thinking how to improve himself and how to become the best he can be.
He also works on developing himself by reading self-help books and watching videos of successful people. By reading books, watching videos and using critical thinking Jose has been able to grow his mind very fast. Now he is able to see life from the eyes of many who have done it and share their knowledge with the world.
On Saturdays, Jose spends time with his friends and family. Jose is not a great looking guy, but everyone likes him because he is in a good mood and happy most of the time. Friends call Jose often to ask him for advice about life, work, or relationships.
Is Jose happy all the time? Of course not, nobody is. But Jose doesn’t pay attention to sadness; he keeps moving forward with his positive plans and ideas. He knows life is more than what he sees and he is willing to fight to get all that life has to give.
Jose knows he is smart and worth a lot more than what he has, but he also knows that he has to earn it.
END of story
We can all see the difference between these two people. Some of us can see why one is doing better than the other, right?
Reader, I always want you to remember this…
Everything is how you see it.
The only difference between George and Jose is their thinking. Their thinking affects everything they do. In other words, their thinking, or their way of seeing things, affects the actions they take in life.
In the beginning, I promised I was going to reveal why this happens, why this is a huge problem, and how to fix it.
- This happens because over time we have built bad habits. In other words, we have been programmed to continue this negative pattern throughout life.
- This is a huge problem because most of us are not aware of it until it’s too late. Sometimes a big life event in our lives wakes us up, or at least tries to. Some of us never wake up, and go through life like this.
How can we fix this? By paying attention to what we are thinking, thus eliminating the negative and taking action on the positive.
Some things I do to combat negative patterns.
- Before I go to sleep, I write down my next-day goals. Now I write goals for the whole week but I start with daily goals which I recommend for beginners.
- Once I have written down my goals, I read them before I sleep. I imagine how I want my day to be and go to sleep with those thoughts.
- I often review my notes.
- I often think about my goals to remind myself where I’m going in life. This helps me get into a better attitude.
- I often write down the things I’m grateful for. This helps me appreciate everything I have, even the bad experiences which I learn from.
Life is not perfect and we are not perfect, but we can try to think more good things than bad ones. We can set goals and accomplish them one by one. It’s up to us what we do in 2018 and the rest of our lives.
Let’s make it our best year so far……